The National Hospice Foundation found that Americans are more likely to talk to their children about safe sex and drugs than to talk to their terminally ill parents about end-of-life preferences and options.  With more than 2.4 million Americans dying each year---and the number growing---it is vital that thoughtful, serious, person to person conversations take place about the kinds of experiences Americans would want for themselves or their loved ones as the inevitable end-of-life draws near.  Often such conversations are avoided out of an understandable desire to spare each other’s feelings.  They need not be.

Although most Americans say they want to die at home surrounded by their loved ones, the truth is that three-fourths of them die in institutions surrounded by strangers.  It does not have to be this way.  The key to change is communication.

The time to discuss your views about end-of-life care and to learn about end-of-life care options available is before a life-threatening illness occurs or a crisis hits.  This greatly reduces the stress of making these end-of-life decisions under duress.  By preparing in advance, you can avoid the uncertainty and anxiety associated with not knowing what your loved ones want. Instead, you can make an educated decision that includes the advice and input of loved ones.

There does exist an end-of-life option that provides dying patients and their families with comfort, compassion, and dignity ay the end of life. This option is hospice care. Hospice is truly a model for quality, compassionate care at the end of life. It utilizes a team approach of expert medical care, pain management, and emotional and spiritual support expressly tailored to the patient’s wishes.  Hospice focuses on the final season of life and helps the dying “live” out their final months and days with dignity; peacefully, and comfortably. By doing so, hospice demonstrates the reverence for human life in all its stages.

Unfortunately, too many patients reach hospice in their final days or even hours of life, leaving their families wishing they had known about hospice care sooner.  Many patients die without ever being offered this tangible end-of-life support that hospice provides, instead struggling with untreated pain and with the side effects of by-now-futile curative medical treatments.  All this in addition to watching their families struggle to cope with the escalating demands of their care.

The next time your family is together, possibly over the upcoming holidays, take time to have a discussion about this important life event.  Let your loved ones know now—when you are still able to effectively communicate---what your preferences for treatment would be if you were confronting a terminal illness.  Living wills and other advance directives are very important in communicating your preferences, but only if they are a first step for generating personal conversations on your specific end-of-life preferences.

For further information on hospice care services, call Hallmark Health Visiting Nurse and Hospice at (718) 338-7903.